@ev I know I’m the crazy one but I have notifications delived silently for all messages and emails except my spouse and boss. then it’s my choice to pick up my device to review what’s new. Apple devices do display the unread count on the icon.

Second personal rule, after 3 text messages I’m calling the person. Conversations that go on all day back and forth are a huge time sink. Family know that if they need an instant response, they call which is maybe once a month. Slack is different though.